Monday 11th January

LC: To uplevel sentences by adding a mix of action, dialogue and description

As we have learned last week, it is important that good writers use a good blend of action, dialogue and description in their writing. This helps the reader to understand the plot (the events in the story), helps them to visualise characters and setting and what the characters are saying.

We have spent some time looking at how dialogue (direct speech) should be written. You must do this accurately - have a look at the following slides to remind yourselves. 

Here is an extract from Chapter 6 below. 

Mr Bumble and Noah returned a half hour later. Mrs Sowerberry and Charlotte were stressed and worried. Oliver was still banging on the coffin lid. He demanded to be let out. He was not the quiet, shy boy who had arrived a month earlier. 

Here is my uplevelled version. I have done this by adding extra description dialogue and action. 

Mr Bumble and Noah returned a half an hour later, irritated and out of breath. "What seems to be the problem, Mrs Sowerberry?" questioned Mr Bumble, struggling to catch his breath. 

"He's gone mad!" exclaimed the stressed Mrs Sowerberry, kicking the side of the coffin. 

Oliver continued to bang repeatedly on the sturdy, solid lid of the coffin. 

"Let me out immediately!" he ordered. He was not the quiet and shy boy that had been delivered a month earlier. 

Can you see where I have added extra action, description and dialogue?

Please go to your Seesaw account and complete the task - 'Uplevelling by adding action, dialogue and description'.  There is another extract from Chapter 6 that you need to uplevel in the same way I have.