Tuesday 15th December
LC: To write an independent description of a setting
Yesterday we wrote a description of a setting - the Victorian workhouse. Today, you are going to write another description of a setting - this time it will be a description of Ebenezer Scrooge's office at the beginning of Charles Dickens', 'A Christmas Carol'.
During yesterday's lesson, quite a lot of people began writing a story with a lot of action. You must try to write a description of a setting today.
Have a look at some of the examples below.
Harry Potter (J.K Rowling)
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is a character in itself. Portraits of prior staff hanging in corridors are animated and talk. Stairways move by enchantment. Even the ceiling design of the school’s dining hall changes according to school events and seasons.
Oliver Twist (Charles Dickens)
The public-houses, with gas-lights burning inside, were already open. By degrees, other shops began to be unclosed, and a few scattered people were met with. Then, came straggling groups of labourers going to their work; then, men and women with fish-baskets on their heads; donkey-carts laden with vegetables; chaise-carts filled with livestock or whole carcasses of meat; milk-women with pails; an unbroken concourse of people trudging out with various supplies to the eastern suburbs of the town. As they approached the city, the noise and traffic gradually increased; when they threaded the streets between Shoreditch and Smithfield, it had swelled into a roar of sound and bustle.
Hard Times (Charles Dickens)
It was a town of red brick, or of brick that would have been red if the smoke and ashes had allowed it; but as matters stood, it was a town of unnatural red and black … It had a black canal in it, and a river that ran purple with ill-smelling dye, and vast piles of building full of windows where there was a rattling and a trembling all day long, and where the piston of the steam-engine worked monotonously up and down, like the head of an elephant in a state of melancholy madness.
You must try to include some of the following skills in your writing today.
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To write at the Expected Standard - it is also evident: |
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I am aware of my target readers and have selected appropriate language for that audience (e.g. first person in a diary & direct address in persuasion). |
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I have appropriately described the atmosphere in my narratives (e.g. I’ve used adventurous synonyms and antonyms of more common words to create detailed atmosphere). |
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Adverbials are used in sentences to explain how, where or when something happened (they are adverbs made up of more than one word) they also help give clarity to other related sentences, and assist with joining ideas within and across paragraphs (cohesion). |
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Some coordinating conjunctions (and, but, or) and simple subordinating conjunctions (if, that, when, because) are used to join main clauses in some sentences to create cohesion. |
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Adventurous synonyms of more common, previous words are used to build cohesion across the writing. |
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The tense of my writing is clear and consistent with correct verbs - the verbs ‘agree’ to create clear past, present and future tenses. |
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I have used pronouns to refer to previously mentioned things. |
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Commas are used between adjectives, to show pauses, and to make the meaning of each sentence clear. |
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Various punctuation including: colons, semi-colons, dashes, hyphens and ellipses are used mostly correctly. |
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Spelling is mostly correct for words in the Year 5 and 6 lists, and I use a dictionary to check the spelling of my adventurous, ambitious words. Proper nouns are capitalised. |
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My handwriting is always readable; I can write at speed and maintain regular: spacing, letter size, formation. |
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My writing has a clear purpose, and it is suitable for the intended audience (e.g. my instructions are clear and can be appropriately followed). |
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BONUS: A range of different conjunctions are used, sometimes in different parts of the sentence: beginning, middle or end. >in addition, alternatively, consequently, meanwhile, as a result, similarly, nevertheless, on the other hand, e.g.< |
Scrooge’s office was shrouded in darkness, except for a few sparsely placed candles scattered around the room - flickering in the gloom. Sparkling from the flickering light, sat many neatly piled, golden coins, laid out in well-organised rows. The sound of carol singing gently soothed the cold air and the monotonous ticking of the clock echoed off every wall. A vast, impenetrable safe, which stood at the far end of the room, contained the evil miser’s worldly wealth.